The Daily Blade, Volume 1, Issue 84

OH, ME SO SORRY. OH , ME SO SORRY. OH ME SO SORRY, I GONE A LONG TIME.

Okay, I didn't plan on being gone all night last night. That's why there wasn't an issue of the blade. My parents were supposed to be in so I thought I would go see them. To my surprise, they arrived at eight o'clock. Well, I still had to type up that paper, and my printer actually works, so I just stayed at their house and came to school in the morning.

WHAT'S UP FOR TODAY

I checked my mail, and to no avail, Locke couldn't send me his articles. So now the letter, which was getting better, will only contain a few particles. I guess I could, but don't think I should, write a story on Pikachu. Enough with the rhyme because I'm running out of time. I guess what I had planned will have to do.

SQUARE's CIVIL WAR

Squaresoft is in disputs over its many rpg characters. Which one really was the best? A lot of people have their favorites, but who can really topple them all? Only one solution arose from this: Have those characters fight it out!

Round one.

Relm (FF3) vs. Selphie (FF8)

Selphie, being much older than relm, doesn't want to hurt a child. Relm takes out a paintbrush and then paints selphie's portrait. Selphie thinks it's so nice of her, until she gets hit by one of her own attacks from it. Selphie bops Relm a good one, making Relm drop her paintbrush. Selphie, thinking she's won, smiles. Relm, pulling out her fake mustache, takes control of selphie and has her defeat herself. Sadly, the fight glitches, and the two characters merge as one to become: Relphie. Winner: Relphie.

Round two.

Aya (Parasite Eve) vs. Lucca (Chronotrigger)

both wielding guns, Lucca fires off a blast from her wondershot dealing two points of damage. Aya laughs as she charges up her energy shot and fires away. Lucca is hurt real bad, but she isn't out yet. Lucca picks up her mallet and goes for close range. Aya doesn't seem to have a close range weapon. Aya, still dazed from that shot, lets Lucca beat away at her. When Aya comes to, she blast Lucca away with her machine gun. Winner: Aya.

Round Three.

Pheobe (FF: MYSTIC QUEST) vs. Mallow (Super Mario RPG)

Pheobe hits Mallow with her bow, but his fluff takes it easily. Mallow slaps her with his sonic symbols, but Pheobe's armor takes it up. Pheobe then strikes out with a thunderbolt, but Mallow laughs and sends it back at her. It does little to Pheobe. Mallow boasts out some stuff, but Pheobe just smiles. She casts white and cooks Mallow into some s'mores. Winner: Pheobe, though I don't think anyone would say Mallow was awesome.

Tomorrow: Can Chrono beat the Mana Knight, will Rinoa get what's coming to her, and how will Sabin fair? Catch rounds 4-6 Monday.

Did You Notice?
 Subject: Food

Did you notice...

-New York style pizza taste better then New York pizza?
-Experation dates are almost never right?
-Yogurt and cottage cheese, milk gone bad, are fine to eat but we can't drink sour milk?
-A Big Mac has the circumference of a quarter?
-Food is really expensive?

Did You Know?
Subject: TV II

Did you know...

-A lot of shows are altered after the pilot?
-WcW sucks now?
-TNT will horribly mangle any movie seen on it?
-Cable channels have a lot of old shows on?
-saturday morning cartoons aren't even cartoons anymore?

Song of the Day.

"Boom Boom Boom Boom" by the Venga Boys.

This is one of those really upbeat dance songs that stays in major most of the time. Sorry, it's another song I heard that's stuck in my head. I think this will be another "Monday only thing."

Eight-Ball Mayhem.

Since you've told us this big secret, are you killing the column?

Prediction Hazy. Ask again later.

52-TWENTY

Okay, today we are going to take a test. If you answer all of these questions the way I want you to, you win something! Here we go. 1.Do you have more than nine meals a day? Yes, go to 2. No, go to 3.
2.Wow, you must be fat. Go on a diet tubbo. you lose!
3.You have nine meals a day? I bet you're fat. Go to 4.
4.Do you sleep with the lights off? Yes, go to 5. No, go to 6.
5.YOU'RE A VAMPIRE! Where is Buffy when you need her. You lose.
6.How do you sleep with the lights on? Yes, go to 7. No, go to 7.
7.How can you answer yes or no to that? You obviously cheated, You lose.

Here's what the winners recieve: A lifetime supply of Grunge-for-less. For all your grungey needs, use Grunge-for-less.

Trivia Time.

Subject: Just how stupid am I?

Ha, no one can answer this question!

Real subject: Lyrics. state what song they're from.

1. When we put emotions on the line, you know that we are the timeless ones.
2. We'll spend the night together, from now until forever.
3. This I pray, that you will hold me dear, though I'm far away.
4. You buy your hair if it won't grow. You can fix your nose if he says so.
5. If it's true don't leave me all alone out here, wondering if your ever gonna take me there.
6. If I'm sleeping in grand central station, it's okay if your sleeping with me.

Answers.

1. "Meet Me Halfway" by Kenny Loggins.
2. Song of the day, "Boom Boom Boom Boom" by the Venga Boys.
3. "As I Lay Me Down" by Sophie B. Hawkins.
4. "Unpretty" by TLC.
5. "I Need To Know" by Marc Anthony.
6. "My Love Is your Love" by Whitney Houston.