The Daily Blade, Volume 1, Issue 75
BLADE GETS WEBPAGE.
Thanks to the tireless efforts of Locke, the Daily Blade now has an official webpage. While it doesn't boast much, mostly just info on recieving it, it's something worth checking out. And, while you are there, sign the slambook. Believe me, it's worth the time. To obtain the address, write megalocke@hotmail.com. If I get an approval to post his address, I will put it in a future issue of TDB. And Locke, when I said to update, that's not what I meant, but you did excellent!
THE INCORRECT WORLD OF ME...
Well, to make a long story short, I now have the final Blade run. It will be Monday-Friday with Locke's column on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Hopefully this is correct because I'm the editor and even I have no idea what's going on. Maybe one day I'll have it figured out...
TROUBLE IN PRINTING ROOM 107.
A disaster occured in the printing room on the first floor. Ink was sprayed about in an unfashionable manner. Looking into this was a complete waste of my time because it was actually issue 75 on it's way out. Anyway, while there is no news on whether or not the Blade will make it to eighty, I do know that the ink has been replaced. Thank God for squids and octopi.
UNDELIVERABLE MAIL.
Everytime I send out the Blade, I go to my quicklist and just get the addresses there. Well, all of them read correctly, but the "Postmaster" can't seem to send a message to chickengoboc@hotmail.com. That's too bad that they can't find someone I never e-mailed in the first place. I know, I bet it's my address. They think I changed it to chickengoboc because I thought those words together were both cute and clever! No... that's not it at all. If any of you know anything, please let me know.
DID YOU NOTICE... in general...
Did you notice...
-anytime you're hungry, you see food advertisments everywhere?
-your "friends" are available up until you try to do something with them?
-even if the boss says you did a good job, you'll get yelled at anyway?
-so many things are oxymorons, but we never notice?
-you can always manage to fall asleep in class, but never when you're home with nothing to do?
SONG OF THE DAY.
"That's What I Think" by Cyndi Lauper.
This song is all about being with that someone that makes you feel good and leave all your problems behind. It's catchy, upward beat can have your mood changed in no time, and if you can get past her high-pitched voice, you may even listen to the whole song.
52-TWENTY
So you ask yourself one day "Why did God put me here?" Naturally, you look for an answer, but alas, there is none. You go on with your mysterious life in hopes of one day making sense out of it. Determined to find answers, you go on a local talk show and are ridiculed for exposed all of you deepest, darkest, wanton desires that only.... and when you move on to a new town and the people are a bunch of hillbillies with more money than you'll ever have, you take up hotdog vending. Well, hillbillies don't like hotdogs so you are quickly out of business. Going on your next search you discover that if you had actually stayed in your hometown, living your old life, you would be happy. Now you've become a maniac in search of the meaning of life. Mayhap you find Atlantis or the fountain of youth to make it all worthwhile.
Trivia Time!
Subject: The Simpsons.
1. What is the name of Bart's "evil" siamese twin?
2. Who gives Lisa a secret tip when her and Bart set out to expose how Sideshow Bob became mayor?
3. When Bart and Lisa see a bug that looks like Homer, what do they try to do to it?
4. How many times does Homer get a toaster stuck to his hand?
5. Which part on Bart's swiss army knife pops the raft?
Answers.
1. Hugo.
2. Waylon Smithers.
3. They want to kill it.
4. Two times, then he repairs it and it lets him time travel.
5. The magnifying glass. The sun shines through long enough to burn a hole in the raft.