The Daily Blade, Volume 1, Issue 73
MTV MUSIC VIDEO AWARDS BITE BITE BITE.
Okay, I know they came on last week and was played to death over the weekend, but really, did Lauren Hill deserve all those awards? No! What about Fat Boy Slim? No! Those awards were biased and Carson Daly rigged them. Britney could have won, but she didn't. That's okay, but Lauren Hill? What is so significant about her video? The song is annoying, the concept is annoying, and she ruined that dress by sweating out the color. That would be the "sixties dress" she's wearing. Sorry, I watch too much "Pop Up Video." Well, I think next year they should try to make the awards seem actual and a little more factual.
OLD ASSISTANT EDITOR MAY BE RETURNING; NEW HELP ON THE WAY.
The Blade, while you guys may not think about it, takes a lot of work to put out. Day in and day out I have to search out the top stories, pay close attetion to fine details, find interesting stuff, be involved in the mass-media, write my name as public graffitti so I may live on throughout the years, see the arrival of the St. Mary seven weeks from now, talk bad about myself in front of a mirror so I know that it hurts to make fun, and there are many other things that go into this newsletter. I await the arrival of fan mail but no one cares. This newsletter is nothing without the fans, as are the Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Love Hewitt, the Venga Boys, Smash Mouth, Sugar Ray, and a whole lot of others that I don't want to name. I work hard to put this out and I wash my hands of it. Out damn spot, OUT! Well, enough about MacBeth, lets talk about the Blade. It has become so laborous that I can't sleep at night thinking up imaginary tales where I rule the world and all whose oppose get to move to Las Vegas and eat nothing but sweet, sweet lemons all the day long until they run out of salt, then I shall have my revenge. Well, this is already too long, and doesn't even relate to the topic, so I guess I'm heading on.
*SONG OF THE DAY
Out of My Head by Fastball.
This song has a very soft tune which works well with the meaning of the song. The song is about a man who is sorry for the things he's done, but also needs to know when his girlfriend is upset with him. While it is not of the last song's caliber in meaning, it has my vote for a good song.
*DID YOU NOTICE: Commercials.
Did you notice...
-All the new coke commercials show people drinking down coke in seconds flat, and they also do things such as walk on floating books to nowhere and fly around? Maybe they the cocaine back in it.
-All those cellphone commercials say how cheaper their rates are for when you call out of state, but they never consider you could use your home phone?
-Just because they have no Miracle Whip, people can't eat the collosal sandwhich they just made?
-10-10-220 and 10-10-321 use to only be 10-321?
-On the football 1800-call-att, that kid smile very sinister-like at David Arquette?
8-Ball Mayhem!
Is there really a new blade coming out?
Prediction hazy. Ask later.
Episodes of the Blade!
Episode 36.
This episode features the team pitching in to rebuild the headquarters. Highlights included when Malice was drenched in cement, and Mijca couldn't find the cat.
52-TWENTY
Beyond the silver sky lies a place we are unfamiliar with. We have longed to see into the heavens and beyond, but alas, we decided to send monkeys to do our job for us. Now, if we really cared about what was out there, we would go ourselves. We can establish a whole new life for everyone on some other planet before we turn this into a corrupt planet destined to crash into the sun. Of course, we've already done that in spades, but who's counting? Anyway, when we do finally make to a new place, we willjust sanction the land of to people who are too stupid to run it efficiently, but our simple minds will vote them in anyway. So while we continue to kill ourselves with toxins and such and such, may the way of the hero lead to the triforce.
Trivia Time.
Subject: Simpsons.
1. When Bart goes to get back the lemon tree, what does Marge think he's doing first?
2. What does Bart use to blow up groundskeeper Willie's shack?
3. What did Willie do to Bart to warrent Bart's actions in question 2?
4. How is Lisa's sax destroyed?
5. What does Kent Brochmen mistake Homer for on the infravision camera?
6. What rare gummie does Homer drool over?
7. What is Marge sent to jail for?
8. When someone is sending Bart threatening letters, Lisa says it's someone he's been prank calling. Who does he first suspect?
9. Who is really sending the letters?
10. What is sideshow Bob's brother's name?
Answers.
1. He says he's going to teach some kids a lesson, so Marge thinks he's tutoring.
2. Creamed corn.
3. He confiscated his skateboard.
4. It gets trampled on by a parade.
5. A roasting turkey.
6. The rare gummie Venus De Milo.
7. She steals liquor.
8. Linda Lavin.
9. Sideshow Bob.
10. Cecil.